I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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