Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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