KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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