if i can run in heels then i can drive
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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