It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
