could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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