How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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