if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm too high and old for this...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
