I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
