I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
as a side note pls kill me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize