And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize