party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
