I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize