I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I am one with the molecules
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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