as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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