I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
