Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
