it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
