Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
