he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
