No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I will pee on everything he values.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
