It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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