pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
