thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
