This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
