ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
At least make sure they are 18
Why
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
