I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
