from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
