Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize