Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
