I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
is wine microwaveable?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
