I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
