Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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