hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
