Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
