Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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