yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
