I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
