So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
