obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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