Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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