please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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