He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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