Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
