dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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