Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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