I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
