So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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