OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just invented taco cereal.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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