how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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