No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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