summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
