i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
