Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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