her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
