So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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