Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This baby is an asshole
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
