hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
this will be a night to untag.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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