Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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